Prayers Please

I feel a little guilty posting this, but feel the need to be honest-both with myself and with you.I realize that we have only been called to adopt since last August, but I am having such a hard time waiting. In my mind I realize that in the adoption world this is often a short time to be into the process, but in my heart I am aching to hold my son. I have been praying for God to prepare my heart, as well as Tim, Tella, Casey's and our sons hearts to bond in a healthy way......I have come to realize that this should and is occuring now even before we know him/them or they know us.
(This is probably accented by Casey turning 16 yesterday, getting her license and driving herself to where she needs to go. Tim going back to work...he is in Cincinatti Ohio from Sunday evening and comes home Thursday late evening. The problem is that my work schedule fluxuates from week to week so I may or may not be home at the same time as Tim.)
We have been tracking our dossier and it has gone from Virginia, New Jersey, Paris and is now in Dubai. I heard from our family coordinator today and she is really unable to give me a definite time from for waiting for a referral.
So.........
I would like to say that I am ok with this and realize it will take time and it is in God's hands, etc., but I am so listless and my heart aches.
I do trust God that our family is in His hands and He knows all the details. Part of my struggle is that in waiting I want to wait in a way that is pleasing to God and now fret over each detail or to allow myself to get so preoccupied with other things that I don't use this time that God has given me for preparation.
I have been reading some scriptures that have given some peace and would like to share. I would like to share these with you as encouragement and also ask you to pray for me and my family as we walk the path that God has and find contentment and joy in it. Our memories of our son are in the making and I want to have wonderful memories to share with him just as I share with Tella and Casey.

Psalm 47:10 Be still and know that I am God.

Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; yor works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Lord I thank you so much for caring so deeply about each of us/about even me! You knew me even before anyone else had even thought about me. Help me to trust You and to be still in You. Help me to always remember that you know me, my current family and the children you have for us and that you care deeply about us. Help me Lord to be still. Thank you Father for your generous love and blessings, Dawn

One more lingering thought

One thought that I forgot to address in yesterday's blog post is this. I have been approached by a few people and I will not mention their names but they asked me why my family isn't adopting from America, and that they believe that we should take care of our OWN before we help others. I politely explained to each person that my family was lead by God to Ethiopia and that is easier to adopt from there than America and that is all the explanation I gave, but it stuck in my mind the question, "Who are my OWN?" and after much thought I have a better answer, a answer that I think will spark much though in your brain and if you have the same mind set as my friends hopefully this will bring a heart change.
Many times in our minds we have these boxes we put ourselves and others into whether it be color, financial status, male or female, or physical barriers like countries, but are we really that different? In the Bible there is a story that I think fits this question very well, it’s the story of the Good Samaritan.
Luke 10:30-37 Jesus answered, "A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who both stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. By chance a certain priest was going down that way. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side. In the same way a Levite also, when he came to the place, and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he traveled, came where he was. When he saw him, he was moved with compassion, came to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. He set him on his own animal, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, and gave them to the host, and said to him, ‘Take care of him. Whatever you spend beyond that, I will repay you when I return.’ Now which of these three do you think seemed to be a neighbor to him who fell among the robbers?" He said, "He who showed mercy on him." Then Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise." (web)
If you are not familiar with this story then let me give you a little more information. In the days of this story Samaritans and Jews HATED one another, Jews would go as far as taking the long way around Samaria just so they didn’t have to pass through it, but this Samaritan had compassion on this man, and man he was suppose to hate. His eyes were open and in his mind there were no barriers, he didn’t see religion, color or anything else. He saw the need. So I will ask the question again "Are we really that different?" Didn’t God breathe life into all man? Didn't He come to save the WORLD? I’m sure glad Jesus didn’t see barriers because I would be burning in Hell right now and so wouldn't you. So why should we place barriers on others just because they live in another country or they look a little different? I hope that this made you think a little more about who your OWN are, it sure has me. As for me my own is the world, I will chose not to see barriers because Jesus didn’t. Just one more thought before I go, if you feel so strongly about my family adopting from America, why don't you?

Tella

I LOVE IT!

I LOVE THIS! IT MAKES ME SMILE =D



Im laying here thinking about what my sister just bloged about,I agree with her 100%. I try to tell my friends about how bad it is and they just dont get it!you see all this things on tv about sending money..well lets just say this MONEY DOES NOT LOVE A CHILD! if you really want to help why not go to Africa and give that amazing little child a huge hug and tell them how much you love them and how much GOD loves them? When we were in Africa we meat alot of kids that had NO ONE. no mommy or daddy to kiss them goodnight no one!! Just think where would you be today if it wasnt for your mom dad or how ever raised you? Go tell them you are thankful for them cause you are every lucky to have that. Most children in Africa dont... Did you know that if 8 percent of people who profess to be Christians adopted, there would be no more orphans? Think about that...

Yes as Tella said in her post i did have someone ask me is i really wanted a BLACK brother and i look that person in the eyes and said " well I really wanted a purple brother but that would be to big of a fight..huh?" Guys i dont care what color skin they have, i dont see color i see my little brother that needed a big sister to love him and thats it! My family is doing what god whats us to do. yes it is very hard and stressful at times but in the end its going to be so worth it!! Well it's late and i have school in the morning now that i have all this out im going to have a good nights rest!
Love ,Casey

How do you put it into words?

Ive been thinking a lot lately about our last trip to Ethiopia and about how deep of an impact it has made in me and my families life. Most people don't understand how I can be so passionate about Ethiopia all of the time. To me Ethiopia and my experience there is on my mind 24/7 I am constantly planning the next trip and trying to figure out more effective ways of making an impact next time we go back. To many of my friends and family Ethiopia was just a week long trip, like a beach trip. It was one week, yeah we saw poverty but to them in their minds its was as significant as seeing a few homeless men sleeping on a bench. And no matter how much I try to explain what I saw they still don't grasp it. They don't understand why I start crying when I see a few pieces of good fruit being thrown out or when I read a blog about one of the families I traved with and hear how well their new child is doing. They don't get it!! And honestly it makes me mad! How do I put into words what I've seen and experienced? How do I make them understand That it wasn't just a few homeless people but it was hundreds we came in contact with everyday. How do I help them see and understand that the children begging for food get beat when they go too close to the shops. I saw children get hit with rocks and whips because they came too close to the Americans. How do I get them to understand that not just one or two people go hungry but crowds of them swarm when you have left overs to give from your lunch. I have been forever impacted, my heart breaks everyday at the memories of what Ive seen and I am on a mission to change it. i don't know how, but God will take care of that. I pray that someone will find the words if not me to explain to my friends and family this isn't a matter to late lightly. That its not just about getting a little brother, its about saving a little boys life and impacting thousands more. My sister had someone ask if she really wanted a BLACK brother and i am amazed and ashamed at how many of our close friends and family have scolded us for adopting. They don't understand that if we didn't adopt my brother has a very high chance of dying from stupid diseases that are preventable and if he is lucky enough not to die from something as stupid as dire ah or polio then he still has a high chance of starving, or dieing from AIDS. Its not about his color or my about parents not wanting to be empty Nester's its because our eyes have been open, and once you truly SEE God wont let you forget until you act. This is just a bunch of ranting I have had on my chest lately and it needed to be said. Don't take it wrong I still love my friends and family and i know its not their fault they don't understand it just hurts because I have seen and I do understand. God willing they will truly have their eyes opened also, who knows maybe were not truly the ones saving my brother maybe he is coming to be a light to those who don't understand.
Tella

DTE 3/12/10

The good news is our dossier is going to Ethiopia on March 12, 2010. We received an email telling us to expect a referral quickly.

Today, however, we received another email telling of of some significant changes made by the Ethiopian government. Once we receive our referral, Tim and I will need to travel to Ethiopia with one to two months to be present at our sons court date. We will be there for 5-7 days and then return home without our little guy. We will then return to Ethiopia 2-3 months later to pick up our son/s. The positive in this is that we will get to meet him sooner, but the negativ is of course that we will have to leave him. I am praying for God's protection for our sons heart and mind in this, as he is already dealing with abandonment and I don't want to add to his pain. I pray God's protection over him and for the Ethipian staff to be able to assure him that we will return. Another positive to this is that once we bring him to the USA he will be a citizen and legally ours and we will not have to readopt once we return home. This is due to the type of visa he will be issued. The IR-3 visa. This will also save on expenses once we are home. Kind of a trade off for making two trips. We are still up in the air regarding which trip our girls will take with us.
I trust the Lord to work out all the details and to guard all of our hearts as the heart is the wellspring of life. Thank you Lord for your peace, for the children you have for us, and the ones you have already given to us. We know that you are in control....that you have plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. Thanks Dad!!
Dawn

I 171H BACK and DOSSIER TO AMERICA WORLD

We are so excited to say that our last document has arrived which will allow us to send our dossier to America World for review then on to Ethiopia (DTE). AND the
I171H came back in just 3 weeks.
We mailed out our dossier to AWAA yesterday 3/8/10 after re-reviewing it several times and talking to Nicole Wiegold, family coordinator, to be sure we had all our T's crossed and I's dotted.....I thought this would be such a relief, but let me tell you about the day.
Tim, Tella and I went to mail the package at FedEx and as soon as we walked into the office you could sense the tension in the air. The poor lady at the counter looked as if she were going to cry or spontaneously combust. Sensing her pain and frustration I commented "It looks like you are having a rough day". My thought was that this would help diffuse the situation and make our transaction smoother. At this point she began to tell me about how the debit card machine wouldn't work, she couldn't print receipts or tracking numbers, and the corporate office was not at all being helpful to her. As you can imagine, we were a bundle of nerves as to whether or not our precious dossier would not make it to America World; would it get lost, was it safe to leave it....Tim just kept saying to the women "This is our adoption papers...these are really important documents....etc". I just started praying silently and asking God to keep me calm. We ended up leaving the dossier. Hoping and praying that it would make it. Once we left the office, Tella said I didn't know what to do so I prayed.
It was a long ride home and I asked the Lord to not let satan place doubts in us or steal our joy. He reminded me of scripture that He had recently given to me and scripture that a great friend of mine read and prayed with me. I would like share:)
Psalm 18:19 He brought me out into a spacious place, he rescued me because he delighted in me. 18:28-30 You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning, my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance againsta troop, with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect,the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. 35 You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great!
How blessed am I....How blessed are we that we have a God who loves us so much to stoop down to make us great? To place us in a spacious place and not crunched so we can't move? Who shields us and provides refuge from our enemies? I am so thankful today for God's flawless word that He gives to me...each of us so that WE DO NOT HAVE TO WALK ALONE!!! Lord, I ask that you walk alongside us to give us your strenth, wisdom and courage to walk the path you have for us. Amen
Dawn